As the injuries turn: The saga continues...

[Rachel]

For those here that remember me from my collegiate days (freshman in 1998, now I feel old), I have a bad knee. I've actually had both of them scoped. Left, right, then left again. The right one is fine 95% of the time with the occasional ache and pop. The left one, well, I still feel the need to hack off my left leg at mid-thigh. Since 2005, I have only run twice (both of those times were last year on a couple odd fall days were the weather was actually decent). It was only a couple miles each time.

I'm thinking the somewhat chronic quad tendinitis in the left leg will get better if I strengthen it. I do a lot of walking (I no longer have a drivers license or a car and I'm bus-dependent right now; more on that later), so it's not like I've become a sloth. In fact, I've actually lost a fair amount of weight (topping out at 175# mostly due to medication side effects, I'm now about 115# and dropping but I'm doing it in a bad way; eating disorder  ). I try to walk as much as I can since my endocrinologist said weight-bearing impact stuff blah blah is good since my bone density isn't spectacular (I already lost an inch over time).

Anyway (I'm rambling...) I'm not sure whether or I not I want another opinion on the knee. I wonder mainly because I seem to have a new problem with it. It's been snapping in the back. Some of my PT stuff bothers it a little (mainly the squats against the wall). I didn't do anything new to it per se, but I'm wondering if someway somehow I managed to mess it up some other way. I feel it right in the middle of the back of the knee (that is, not closer to the hamstring or the calf). I'm wondering if my increased seizure activity is contributing to the problem. When I seize, my legs tense up and kick out multiple times, and boy do my calves feel it for a least a couple days, sometimes up to a week if it was a bad one. It's interesting because when I had that knee scoped, the surgeon said during both surgeries that my ACL and associated stuff back there looked really good.

* The increased seizure activity from the uncontrolled epilepsy is why I lost my license and my dad currently has my car. I wasn't diagnosed until last year, so that's why it wasn't posted here before. *

I really really want to be able to run pain-free and not paranoid that something is going to snap in the process. I want to be able to make what was an annual trek to Utica for the Boilermaker 15k (one of my favorite races, but I'm not a fan of the post-race party). My distance goal was to make it up to a 1/2 if not a full marathon someday. I like the longer distances. Problem is, I can't train for them adaquetely. Any time I try to get my weekly mileage over 30 miles, my body protests.

Sorry for rambling and whining. I'm really good at spewing out a bunch of words and not really saying anything.

[r-at-work]

Sorry for rambling and whining. I'm really good at spewing out a bunch of words and not really saying anything.

actually you said a lot...

... (freshman in 1998, now I feel old)

aw heck, I'm 56...
 

I do a lot of walking (I no longer have a drivers license or a car and I'm bus-dependent right now; more on that later), so it's not like I've become a sloth. In fact, I've actually lost a fair amount of weight (topping out at 175# mostly due to medication side effects, I'm now about 115# and dropping but I'm doing it in a bad way; eating disorder  ). I try to walk as much as I can since my endocrinologist said weight-bearing impact stuff blah blah is good since my bone density isn't spectacular (I already lost an inch over time).

please talk to someone about the eating disorder, not just post it here...this is serious... and this may not be the best place to get a diagnosis on you new knee issue either
 

* The increased seizure activity from the uncontrolled epilepsy is why I lost my license and my dad currently has my car. I wasn't diagnosed until last year, so that's why it wasn't posted here before. *

yikes...

I really really want to be able to run pain-free and not paranoid that something is going to snap in the process. I want to be able to make what was an annual trek to Utica for the Boilermaker 15k (one of my favorite races, but I'm not a fan of the post-race party). My distance goal was to make it up to a 1/2 if not a full marathon someday. I like the longer distances. Problem is, I can't train for them adaquetely. Any time I try to get my weekly mileage over 30 miles, my body protests.

your body is not just protesting... it sounds like it is completely in revolt...please try to find a healthcare professional who can look at the whole picture. I would bet that all these things (and your earlier running) have more in common than you know. Besides walking, have you tried deep water jogging? While you won't get the high impact you'll at least get some of the benefits...Keep in mind that eating disorders multiply bone density problems... I'm sure you have gotten enough lectures, but this one is more in the way of a concerned hug... you need to take care of yourself, find people to help...
-Rita

[Ryan]

Rachel, first, don't call yourself old. You're one of the youngest people here.

Second, I'll just second what Rita said. Take good care of yourself. Your desire to run is inspirational. I don't know anyone who has gone through as much as you and still wants to run. However, I don't see a way for this story to have a happy ending without you getting a lot of help. Please seek out that help.

I think I've known you online since about 1998 (maybe earlier?) and I've always been pulling for you, seeing how much you obviously love running to never give up even after all you've been through. I'm still pulling for you, which is why I hope to see you get all the help you need.

[Rachel]

Hey guys

Thanks for the replies. As far as getting treatment for the ED, I actually entered into an outpatient program last September (since that was the earliest I was able to admit to myself that I actually had a problem). Unfortunately, the program got shut down in January. There is no outpatient ED treatment anywhere near here. There's a partial program in the area that is fairly new, but they only take 10 people at a time so I can imagine the wait list already. Other than that, the nearest inpatient facility is downstate (Westchester County I think?). So, I'm still being treated, just under the other psych diagnoses. It's not bad enough to warrant being inpatient. Besides, neurology is considering an inpatient admit for Video-EEG monitoring again. Hospital admits make me go nuts; even a few hours in the ED can be too much at times. Of course, I'm sure the multiple psychiatric admits don't help that.

As for the knee stuff that never stops, I'm not really looking for diagnostics here, though opinions are welcome. It's more of an if it's not one thing it's another, and it's frustrating. Medically, I have more specialists than I know what to do with. If I could cut that down rather than pile on more, I'd be happier. Besides, who wants more surgery (not I, at least not unless something can be pinpointed that I will benefit).

Thanks

[Ed]

I feel for you on the Psych issue - some serious depression issues myself - and when the ADHD kicks in high gear it can be a real mess.  Just ask some of the people on this website about my "way-off" times.  they can attest to some pretty viralent posts.
 
Please do not call yourself old - I will be 40 this year.  You are only as old as you allow yourself to be - I act like a 20 something and chase my wife (of 14 years) around like I am 17 (I know too much info!)
 
Balancing multiple psych issues with multiple medical issues is tough.  Just when I was getting my butt going again - I fell on ice and hurt my knee.  As soon as that was healing and I was getting ready to start running again I found out that i needed some (minor outpatient) surgery.  I had a partially obstructed bowell and two lipomas that needed to be removed becuase they were causing muscluar spasms in my right gludious maximus and my left thigh.  The lipomas turned out to be the size of golfballs but shaped like footballs.  One was easily removed the other was embeded in the surrounding tissue and its removal caused hugh amounts of bruising and I do NOT bruise.
 
So, now I am waiting for these itchy stitches to be absorbed and the final OK from the surgeon that the lincision sites are healed well so that I can get back out there.
 
You can do this - I am proof of that -