If I were you I would continue running . I would also not put so much empahsis on weight with running. Run for an escape. Let running be your salvation. This is your time to sort things out and get a grip on the reality of life and what really is important. Being healthly and honest with yourself are two big ones. Admitting you have a problem on a forum such as this is a big step. No one on here will think your weird or clueless , we all in this world have skeletons in our closet and I still haven’t found anybody who I would call normal. I don’t think there is such a thing . Life wouldn’t be fun if we all were perfect! I would hate to be around someone who was always perfect! It’s not human, we all have made mistakes. You just have to realize this and except we all have flaws, there just different for each individual. Since you put up your flaw , here’s one of mine. I had a huge gambling problem 4 years ago, to the point I was betting 1000 dollars per game on football and basketball , hell I went to the Casino Boat 40 straight days with 500-750 in my pocket each trip. I won some . Lost a lot until I had lost 12,000 dollars one winter. Right there cold turkey , I decided to run every time I had the urge to Gamble. Well I started to run everyday for the next year and it actually helped me stop Gambling! So I became addicted to running , I would say that’s a good addiction 😆 So I wouldn’t beat youself up about eating more when you run. you should eat more when you run and just go with it. If you start to feel heavy after eating don’t put your finger down your throat, go run it off and break even. You’ll be getting more fit and will not go Bulimec on us.
I came home one evening to catch my nanny in the bathroom doing the bulimec thing. I didn’t think she was weird, I thought what in her life caused her to do this. We talked for about 3 hours that night and it was pretty deep shit much deeper than just I’m fat or over weight. So I would meet her every thursday at Starbucks for Tea and a jam session( Talking) I told her the same thing I understand and you are not weird everybody is weird in there own way. I had her run everytime she started feeling weird. She Ran The Chicago Marathon in 3:57 this year hasn’t forcefully thrown up in two years. So I’m telling you the same thing don’t quit running , If your going to quit doing something , quit beating yourself up. You are human and normal! Keep up your fitness and running you’ll be happy you did when you beat this thing , Which I know you will I having living proof that it can be and will be done. Please don’t let this thing take you out of your running and fitness that you have. You’ll be happy that you can still jump in a race here and there and have some fun 😆
I’m sincere when I say this, I feel for you and I know it’s just temporary so let’s getting rocking and beat this stupid thing!