Re: Re: No Longer 105 marathons in 2008

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#26874

Maybe I'll just say a little. If I pointed out about a name (“old-coot”), I know that could make someone uncomfortable, and maybe then I would prefer to do it in the most gentle and kind way possible. Is it ok if I leave this discussion with this? In a sincere way, could I humbly ask to leave this discussion and maybe let you have the final word? Thanks.

Perhaps I should apologize GTF. When I was speaking about affability, maybe I had in mind more of a person who does not use insults and who tries not to make people feel bad about actions considered immoral or stupid.

If you mean your apology sincerely then of course I accept.  You did call me out, do you consider that affable?  Did you ever consider that I intended zero malice with “old coot,” that I was simply poking a little fun? 

When I came here for advice with my problems, maybe I had done so hoping that someone, after so much failure with clergy and professionals, would be out there, possibly able to help. But please, let's not talk about that. Thank you. Maybe when I did seek out help online, it wasn't like I was calling people hurtful names, and maybe that's the kind of affability I had in mind.

You are missing context here and taking this much too seriously.  It is much more likely that you dumping your problems onto these forums has made people feel needlessly uncomfortable than Macon would ever feel slighted by some flip comment that he will likely never see.  Macon seems like the type who would take it as intended, though, and laugh it off. 

I do think some people who self-loathe can have SOME affable or gracious behavior. Some of them might do good deeds for others who are suffering. Are they constantly showing affability? Maybe not. But maybe neither are some people who claim to be happy and having lots of self-esteem but are rude in speech. I'm not saying you're rude or anyone else here though. I don't necessarily feel like debating this though. I've spoken about avoiding insults elsewhere and if anyone here feels that it's ok then…

Well, I happen to not consider spilling personal problems out on a forum that does not have that focus at all to be exemplary of “gracious behavior.”  You chose to call out something I stated here and when you feel comfortable enough to do that you better be prepared to be called out as well.  To be honest, I have let you slide on some things I consider to be highly questionable – mostly out of empathy – and merely moved posts and threads away from the most inappropriate areas — in fact, this thread is going to get split and moved now that you have moved it completely away from the original subject.  Anyway, I figured that Ryan would do the dirty work if he had a problem with it.  Though you would have had no way of knowing it, I went easy on you because I could tell you were in a bad place. 

And I'm not saying that an insult was definitely given. Words can have more than one meaning and what can be an insult to one might not be to others.

Finally, do you think I did something wrong or immoral by pouring out some information about my problems here? Truly, actually, immoral?

I do not have a big problem with it, I just consider it poor form.  Think about it this way, what if someone you really did not know well at all came up to you on the street or in school and just started talking about a big load of personal problems that made them feel “despondent?”  Would that not make you feel uncomfortable?  Personally, I would question why that person chose to come to me instead of going to someone with an interest and proficiency in such things — I might even laugh the person off as being a nut or a crank.  Even if it would not make you uncomfortable, it could easily make many other people uncomfortable.  Uncomfortable enough that they could want to avoid a running forum.  I mean this with all sincerity and positive intent, you might get better response to your personal problems if you post them to a chatline or forum or listserv dedicated to mental and emotional well-being and save the running stuff to share with us.