Re: Re: Seriously?

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Well, I've had my hollows and highs with running. If I'm not mistaken, my history in part is thus.

When I was 14 in the fall of my first year of high school (2002 I think), I became infatuated with a girl, and I had seen a movie in which a guy infatuated with a girl began jogging to get in shape, and that's what I did.

I never did go out with that girl, but continued jogging at times. One day in gym each student was doing what he wanted, I was doing laps, and the substitute teacher, a former cross country coach I think, seemed to think that I was motivated to be doing laps on my own, and that I could go far in running because of my motivation.

So maybe that was an impetus for me to join the track team, which I did in the spring. But even then, maybe it wasn't until mid-season that I became more serious. In the first half of the season, I was running very slowly compared to others on the team, and let's just say our team wasn't the fastest in the area. In fact, some might say we stunk compared to the other teams in the city, and that I was on the lower end of this team. In early season, I also couldn't complete the distance runs without having to stop to walk. But I asked advice from the coach, did workouts on my own that he told me to do, improved some, and was awarded most dedicated on the team.

After that season I trained hard and read a lot on the internet about running, and wanted to be really, really fast by the end of high school. But, some injuries came, and later an excessive fear of injury, which may have been part of my obsessive compulsive behavior. My obsessive compulsive behavior reached a pretty high point in my senior year, at which time I was homeschooled. Running without being worried was so hard, I eventually stopped running.

But this past March, after some spiritual failure, maybe I felt I should start back to help spiritually. The competitive desires returned, maybe especially when watching this past Olympics. With all the depression and struggle I've been going through, becoming a competitive runner and achieving some success can seem like something that could enrich my life. 

Sorry about this being so long.