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    AVOID the UNSIGHTLY AWKWARD EMBARRASSMENT

    ..by adhering to the proper politics of speaking about a woman!

    She is not a “BABE” or a “CHICK” – She is a “BREASTED AMERICAN.”

    She is not a “SCREAMER” or a “MOANER” – She is “VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE.”

    She is not “EASY” – She is “HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE.”

    She is not a “DUMB BLONDE” – She is a “LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY.”

    She has not “BEEN AROUND” – She is a “PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION.”

    She is not an “AIRHEAD” – She is “REALITY IMPAIRED.”

    She does not get “DRUNK” or “TIPSY” – She gets “CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED.”

    She does not have “BREAST IMPLANTS” – She is “MEDICALLY ENHANCED.”

    She does not “NAG” you – She becomes “VERBALLY REPETITIVE.”

    She is not a “TRAMP” – She is “SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED.”

    She is not a “TWO-BIT HOOKER” – She is a “LOW COST PROVIDER.”

    ~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~*~~~~*~~*~~*~~*~~

    AVOID the UNSIGHTLY AWKWARD EMBARRASSMENT

    ..by adhering to the proper politics of speaking about a man!

    He does not have a “BEER GUT” – He has developed a “LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY.”

    He is not a “BAD DANCER” – He is “OVERLY CAUCASIAN.”

    He does not “GET LOST ALL THE TIME” – He “INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.”

    He is not “BALDING” – He is in “FOLLICLE REGRESSION.”

    He is not a “CRADLE ROBBER” – He prefers “GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.”

    He does not get “FALLING-DOWN DRUNK” – He becomes “ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.”

    He does not act like a “TOTAL ASS” – He develops a case of “RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION.”

    He is not a “MALE CHAUVINIST PIG” – He has “SWINE EMPATHY.”

    He is not afraid of “COMMITMENT” – He is “RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.”

    He is not “HORNY” – He is “SEXUALLY FOCUSED.”

    It’s not his “CRACK” you see hanging out of his pants – It’s “REAR CLEAVAGE.”

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